every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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