Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
