I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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