The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
