she was so not down for the gang bang
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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