I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
