hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
