This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize