So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
