you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
