I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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