just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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