i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
