He asked to "fluff my boner.."
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
