"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
