She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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