my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
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Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
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yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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