I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
two words...techno handjob
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
