Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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