I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
