These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
