doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
