so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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