hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i will never coherently bang her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
