So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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