Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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