i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
