doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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