i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
