from now on my penis is your penis
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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