y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
