wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
