I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
These tits shall not be calmed
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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