My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize