I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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