bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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