Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
