She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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