"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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