I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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