i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
