dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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