it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize