i permit you to call me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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