i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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