i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize