I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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