I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
