Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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