It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize