I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
