So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
