i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
