I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Terrible idea I love it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
