and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Green mimosas i think yes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
