She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize