The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize