If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
love makes seman taste better
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
