There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
