yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
