My brain says no but my pants say off.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize