just tell him i said nine months
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
