Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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