did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
